a cry escaped my mouth
my mind begins to rouse
as always authenticity
leaves no room for doubt

running like being hunted
down a winding path
a slippery slope of wishes
i may never wish to get back

i used to be afraid of the dark
when shadows appeared
lurking around corners
and under beds
and monsters came searching
when dreams turned perilous
but only i seem to take notice

you took my heart and made it yours. you said you’d keep it safe. we both said things we can’t unsay…knives piercing through my shame.

vision blurring from cascading tears, words obscure. held captive by feelings. until we could give no more.

what is it that makes me think i’m worthy? i’m just me. that was my mentality. it drove me mad. so sad to have snapped. of all things, thinking i’d reached my destiny.

“stay”
she begs
pleading insanity
something no one wants to be
she retreats into herself
she thinks only of safety
a bit of saving maybe
unlocked from a vault
where she’d lost the key
the key originally
meant all along for simply
continued living…
but happily

i hurt you
though that was never my intent
i thought we talked it through
but you’re as far as you can get
i made a mistake
a mistake that saved me
an error that changed my life
i hope you never know
what it’s like to lose hope
despair and depression
down the darkest hole

once upon a time
i knew you well
the curve of your mouth
with a sideways smile
cheeks so high
smiling wide like your eyes
handsome and charming
a gentleman raised right

two plus two should equal four
but not in this world
where the ceiling’s on the floor
and the windows are the doors
i feel like Alice
curiosity
compelling me forward
making friends
exploring
parts yet unknown and unearthed
a willingness to keep searching
even when the truth hurts
so my head’s in the clouds
and i’m not coming down
with two feet on the ground
it’s impossible to dream loud

all the time i wanted
now, i waste
many wishes made
just enough to get a taste

the crazy thing is
what’s important got erased
no time. no space.
only errors remaining

doused in disdain
a plague of shame
feigning rage
jailed and replaced

brick by brick i built a home
placing each one with such care
for the purpose of stability
sheet by sheet i built these walls
each panel placed with intention
in order to provide safety within