a pondering

living in the space of grey
color lacking, lost for days
stripped down to bare skin
even my bruises fade away

was i ever in real danger?
why was it that i stayed?
the voice in my head speaks
too loud and a bit too angry

many years pass like molasses
taking hits like boxing matches
too regular a practice
mentally, emotionally unbalanced

rainbows, where did you go?
your spectrum of color refuses to show
reconciled with fleeting light
a black hole of chaos and shadows

just then though, beside me - hope
enough darkness finally exposed
as misery gives way to mercy
this is a reckoning of great proportion

the burden i carry now lifted with ease
strength returning, terror released
refused, revoked and soon disposed of
gravitational force pulling me to destiny