heavy holds me

try to sleep
that’s not happening
my nightmares begin
when my eyes close to dream
a mind open to everything
can become scary
quite quickly
terrorizing mind and body
wake up sweating
this is when i’d like to leave
this place loves holding onto me
flowers deadly, thorns and seed
touch, inhale, taste and see
all my senses dumb and numbing
i can’t look forward
when the past lives within me
i can put out the fire
but smoke remains heavy