two plus two should equal four
but not in this world
where the ceiling’s on the floor
and the windows are the doors
i feel like Alice
curiosity
compelling me forward
making friends
exploring
parts yet unknown and unearthed
a willingness to keep searching
even when the truth hurts
so my head’s in the clouds
and i’m not coming down
with two feet on the ground
it’s impossible to dream loud

all the time i wanted
now, i waste
many wishes made
just enough to get a taste

the crazy thing is
what’s important got erased
no time. no space.
only errors remaining

doused in disdain
a plague of shame
feigning rage
jailed and replaced

brick by brick i built a home
placing each one with such care
for the purpose of stability
sheet by sheet i built these walls
each panel placed with intention
in order to provide safety within

they hide in plain sight
lying, trying everything
until you take it to heart
art in it’s rawest form
driving by emotions
and real life…

a lie is always cloaked in fear
you’ve made it a career
using every kindness
that will comprise
your inevitable demise
consuming your atmosphere

i tell myself
i’ll never do it again
but then
it happens
you text
and i’m soon enveloped
in thoughts of you

i miss you
your humor
your hands
to have you again
turns tears of pain
to cries of pleasure
never taken in vain

what is it about you that has me weak?
weak in spirit
and weak in the knees
so says the race of my heart beat
and the pink in my cheeks

so recently time held space for me
i’ve seen so i believed it to be
wearing a crown with no kingdom
aligned with my false reality

superficially
a scrape will heal
given time
though some wounds
never heal entirely
what’s left
are scars
some say
have no appeal